Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
