You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
