He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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