i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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