I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
