This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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