Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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