He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
