The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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