I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
