you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
