well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
