Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
