i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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