Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
