Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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