I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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