I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize