He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
