She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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