I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
