Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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