I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
