I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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