went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just made my gag reflex go away.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
