Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize