i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
