I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no you cant smoke seaweed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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