Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
