Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
