Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
