if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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