Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
did you just send me my own nude
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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