That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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