with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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