let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
