Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
