I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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