connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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