I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
