his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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