i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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