I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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