? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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