the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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