Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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