Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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