you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
