I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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