your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wanna passion pit in your ass
People in love make me want to vomit
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
