I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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