Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to make a zoo with you.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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