its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
