dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
