What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
