he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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