yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
