I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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