TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Pooping to opera.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize