Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
