You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
