Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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