how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
