Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
...so i touched it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
