Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
